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As a young woman, I had some pretty interesting expectations.
I thought you could say “yes” to everything. That there would always be enough time, money and energy. And that the practically perfect was possible! If you haven’t guessed yet, I found out that many of my expectations were unreasonable.
You can’t always say “yes.” ...that doesn’t mean you can always say “no,” either!
What I learned is that to be able to do good work, you need to be able to accomplish what’s before you.
Saying “yes” and doing a poor job or not completing something is poison to your life and your career. This expectation of mine sent me down a road of procrastination! I would wait until I could do the task perfectly. Wrong! My reasonable expectation is to understand my energy, my skills and my time, and to then make commitments that are reasonable and appropriate. It also means learning to say “no” diplomatically!
While I do believe that we live in a world of unlimited resources, that doesn’t mean I’ve always had access to them!
Money lessons were hard in my earlier years. I was not totally aware of the impacts of compounded interest, credit limitations and saving for the future. Fortunately, after much trial and error, I understood and learned to use credit with care and to plan for tomorrow. I don’t judge people by what they drive, where they live or their lifestyles. If you choose to judge me by those criteria, we’ll need to part company.
My expectation today is to live a great life that gives me pleasure and peace.
Time and energy were also my enemies. I never had enough time to do what I wanted or needed to do. As a wife, mother and career person, I couldn’t function with no sleep!
Life is not about staying up all night all the time to get things done. It works on occasion, it’s not a lifestyle that sustains itself. I had to learn what was most important and focus my time and energy on those things. I also had to learn to do my best all the time, and not wait for the perfect time or perfect situation.
What I want for you is a life of encouragement, empowerment and enjoyment! As 2023 comes around, don’t create a lengthy document of resolutions or a new life plan. Research shows that those exercises don’t help you move forward. Instead, take some time to do a self-inventory.
What were your successes & challenges in 2022?
What can you do better?
What can you let go of?
What can you embrace?
What will help you most in the future?
After this review, day by day, do better. Celebrate your successes and find ways to expand them. Accept your challenges, take responsibility when appropriate and learn from them. Let go of what does not serve you! Grab on to what will help you most in the future! Have reasonable expectations for yourself and you’ll see progress.
When my children were young, I wanted to be the perfect mom. Despite being room mother and doing everything I could think of to be that amazing mom, I never made it into the “perfect” category. Today, I know that’s OK. What I am grateful for is that I made it into the “real mom who loves her kids like crazy and does her best” category! How I wish I had understood that myth of perfection early in my life.
The last few years have pushed everyone. Whether it has been health-wise, familywise, money-wise, career-wise or any other types of wise, we have been challenged. We have faced major obstacles that made indelible marks on our lives. Some folks have taken the low road. They are mad, no longer care about anyone else, and feel entitled.
Others are choosing to take the high road. To be a good person, care more about others, live and work smarter, and move forward with grace. These roads, and many others, are open to all of us. I will take the high road! My goal is to be better this year than last year, and to be a force for good in this world.
